 There
is almost always someone on your street whose habits bother you
in some way. However, sometimes these annoying habits can get
out of control and lead to a serious feud that can last so long,
nobody can even remember what sparked the fire. A recent Parade
magazine article detailed some of the horror stories neighbors
experience, such as one neighbor removing half of a jointly-owned
garage without any warning, and one Georgia homeowner who blackmailed
the local historic preservation commission into letting him renovate
his stairs by painting his house bright green with purple polka
dots. Disputes can be over any number of things, including barking
dogs, unkempt lawns, loud music, late-night parties, abandoned
cars, etc. In fact, Cora Jordan, the author of Neighbor Law:
Fences, Trees, Boundaries & Noise, says that there is
really nothing neighbors won’t fight about.
Such disputes can end up swamping police departments
with petty calls that seem very important to those making them.
The best way to control neighborhood disputes is to eliminate
them before they get out of control and the police are called
in. There are plenty of mediation services dotted around the country
aimed at helping neighbors with their disputes. One such organization
is the Community Board Program of San Francisco, which was founded
by attorney Raymond Shonholtz in order to help neighbors work
out their differences. “It can get so bad that people are
even shot over their disputes!” – Raymond Shonholtz
If you are faced with a bad neighbor, here
are the steps the article recommends to help control the situation.
Step One: Talk
Your annoying neighbor is probably unaware that their behavior
is causing anyone any problems. Be prepared to approach your neighbor
at a convenient time for them to chat about the problem. Documenting
your complaint can help lift your grievance from something personal
to something reasonable. Remember that you may encounter hostility;
after all, nobody likes being told that they are a problem!
Step Two: Mediation
If talking fails or you just feel too irate to discuss things
rationally with your neighbor, then mediation may be the solution.
Mediation involves one or more impartial third parties intervening
in a conflict with the consent of you and your neighbor, and assists
you in negotiating a consensual and informed agreement. In mediation,
the decision-making authority still lies with you and your neighbor.
The mediator’s role is to recognize variations in styles
and cultures, assist in defining and clarifying issues, reduce
obstacles to communication, explore possible solutions, and, finally,
help reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. An independent third
person may be just the thing to help your neighbor realize they
really are causing a problem. You can use the assistance of the
National Association for Community Mediation (nafcm.org), whose
mission is to “support the maintenance and growth of community-based
mediation programs and processes, to present a compelling voice
in appropriate policy-making, legislative, professional, and other
arenas, and to encourage the development and sharing of resources
for these efforts.”
Step Three: The Law
Calling either the police or your lawyer should always be the
last resort. Rather than sorting out the problem, such actions
can lead to increased hostility and lengthy legal battles.
Being open to suggestions and comments is the key here. Often,
the complaining neighbor can be as big a problem as the neighbor
they are complaining about. Their actions can increase the anger
to a higher level. Therefore, being open with your neighbors and
keeping your own actions in check can lead to the white-picket
fence neighborhood you have always dreamed about!
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